Once upon a time, long, long ago (about 28 days to be exact),
there lived a 40-ish year old Princess who had grown into somewhat of a blubber butt. Now this Princess had good intentions about her food and exercise, but let’s face it, the choices she had made in the prior year had come back to haunt her like the ghost of Christmas past. She tried to pretend like everything was fine, but her talking jeans told a painfully different tale, it was really more of a horror story.
Jeans: Oh Princess, why do you continue to eat so? Can’t you see you’re having difficulty getting the zipper all the way to the top? At this rate you won't be able to get your right leg in by the end of next week! Have mercy and step away from the peanut butter cups!!!
The Princess banished her talking jeans to the dungeon for 28 days.
Our troubled Princess thought about trying the same old things she had in the past, like, the liquid diet (wine is liquid - right?), the cabbage soup diet (lost a few friends over that one) and even the Dinosaur diet (this one annoyingly worked wonders on her husband and brother), but sadly it only made the beautiful Princess crabby and bloated. She was unwilling to go to a smelly gym where someone would scream at her to do 5000 squats in ten seconds while techno music blared.
Running? Out of the question! Unless of course a dragon was chasing her.
The Princess wondered if all hope was lost, when she got a message from her good friend from the neighboring kingdom, the gorgeous, Princess Christy.
|This is the two actual princesses at Halloween this year.|
The 39-ish (what??)-year old Princess decided she had nothing to lose but her muffin top, so she and Princess Christy decided to go for it!
During the 28 days she had many new adventures with the fairies, some that made her poor body so sore, that she had to pay her indentured servants (also known as children) to tie her shoes. To make matters worse, there were many many nights that she really wanted a glass of wine, but she remained steadfast and her resilience only grew stronger.
Every time the disgruntled Princess was on the verge of quitting, the barre3 fairies or one of the many princess who joined her on the journey would encourage her to keep going. Yes, the community is that good!!! This is not to say that she didn’t ever fall off the royal wagon, after all, the beautiful Princess was only human. But she picked her royal arse up off the ground and kept on going.
The tale of our Princess is one with a happy ending. After all, today is day 29. The jeans are out of the dungeon and lo’ and behold, not only do they fit, but they are actually baggy in spots (EEEEEEEEK!). But far more importantly our now 29-ish (I’m telling you this program works wonders) year old princess, has learned that it is possible to take better care of her royal body and to not feel miserable while doing so. She learned that when you eat enough of the good foods, you will find that you have no room left for the evil foods. This was a little principle called “crowding out”, and it worked for everything except coffee, every time the new green tea tried to crowd out the coffee, the coffee just crowded it right back into the cupboard - oh well.
So Princess Missy and Princess Christy decided to formally adopt this new lifestyle in the hopes of flaunting themselves in their royal bikinis just a few short months from now. Hope springs eternal - right?
I believe they will all live glowily and rock solid core-illy ever after.